Vim rants...

Being a procrastinator, it took me long to blog this.

Date: 10th June 2006

8th July, Bangalore

Kumaran Jagdeeshan : Male, 23 years, 5’11”
Palas Panja : Male, 31 years, 5’11”

Destination : Kolar Gold Fields, Kolar, Karnataka. 98 kms towards East of Bangalore

The Emperor was planning this trip for a week. Now, don't ask me why the name Emperor, I know its absurd, but Kumaran calls himself “The Emperor”, and me being a person who respects everyone’s individuality, I address him not as His Majesty, but as Mr. Emperor.
Last weekend, he rode his Pulsar from from Bangalore to Chennai and back(750+ kms), something that he claims to be adventurous. The side effects of this adventure included a sore throat, painful shoulders and blood red eyes (you might wanna call him Dracula). But that didn't stop him; he really wanted to get away from the hustle of the city.

I had no plans for the weekend and Mr. Emperor invited me to join him. 200 kms on his mobike wasn’t an attractive offer, but a trip is something I would never wanna turn down, I accepted it on one condition, we go by car, or me not going.

12:30 PM, Saturday.
Me calls up Palas Bhai, the Emperor’s Advisor(don’t askkk y, that's how the Emperor calls him, ).
“Palas bhai, wats plans for today? Hey, isn’t today the 8th? We got the Premier League and GSDC TownHall tonight ”
“Yaar, I asked the others, seems like no one in our team is going for the event”. Hmm, I know that's bad, but we have to accept facts.
“Ok, so wat do u think Bhai, we’ll go?”
“Yeah, I am free. But Vimal, how will we go?”
“Emperor might be coming, let me c if I could get one more bike.” Man, it’s a weekend, no chance, every damn guy with a bike would go out with his (girl) friend(s).
“Bhai, lemme try calling Yumperor, will call u back soon. I’ll also check with Mervin, he's gotta car.”
“Ok bhai.”

The IBM GSDC TownHall was to take place that evening, a mega event at Palace grounds, a great evening with a lot of fun and KK’s concert. Now, that was the sexy option. We could have some real fun, meet up with friends, listen to some good music, feast, dance till we were dead tired and of course not to count out the possibility of pairing up with nice chicks .

12:35 PM, Saturday. Emperor calls me up, asks “wat’s ya plan ?”.
Briefed him about my conversation with Palas. We tried calling Mervin but he was not picking up his cell. Since we couldn't find a car, I decided to quit.
Asked the Emperor to contact Palas and fix up something.

12: 45 PM. The plan was finalized, if we could get hold of Mervin, 4 of us going to Kolar, else Kumar and Palas to make the trip on the Pulsar.

3:30 PM. The Yumperor and his Advisor set off on the Gold Hunt.

Kolar Mines are the world's deepest gold mines. They are 2,400 meters below surface, and are also the oldest and largest in the country. The mines extend over 98 kms.
The mines are open on Saturdays, and I expected the Emperor to go into one of them and dig up gold ore.

On their way to KGF, Yump almost met with an accident.
Folks, we have heard of storm chasers, our heroes turned “Rain Chasers”! They chased rain, got wet and to add spice to the whole thing, they were at 100 kmph that they had to stop when they were in the rain. Palas was shouting, “Needles piercing, bhai! Stop, stop!”

NH – 4, the route is through Hoskote to Kolar. Either side of the road is a feast for the eyes, fields, water bodies and trees. Emperor couldn’t wait to click a snap of the blossoming trees, that the main motive behind this trip.

The NH at Kolar is a straight road, and you can clearly see vehicles more than 3 kms away. This is where the Emperor wanted to stop, and click some snaps. To his disappointment, before he could click the 7th snap, his cam went dead. Our heroes d didn't carry spare cells ; we missed some good snaps people.

Now, since they had nothing better to do, our heroes decided to drive towards KGF, 38 kms ahead. Now we have lost track of time, Palas and Kumar, u got to input these in the comments, I would appreciate that, it would help us. Yeah, really !



Our heroes roam around KGF, trying to find a mine that looked inviting. They wanted to go down one of them digging for gold. There were a zillion thoughts in the Emperor’s mind…."which mine would be the best one", "where could I find easy gold", "Me don't wanna get dirty…how to dig without getting dirty", "is the deepest mine the better one? Or does smaller means a less used one?"

These mines were closed in 2001, coz the government couldn't make enough profit and the cost of production was rising tremendously.

Hmmm, I guess you guys now know how challenging this Gold hunt is.
Before he could go down one of those shafts, Emperor and his Advisor decide to pee.
Our heroes, become naughty li’l boys for a while ;) wanna read ahead? [If you would prefer this censored, please proceed to the next paragraph]. Our li’l hero boys, they got into a pee- war. OMG!

To their surprise, the tiny rock that they were peeing on sparkled!
Emperor orders a halt, produces a polythene cover, lifts the rock and washes it in a stream of water (hmm, our kiddies are royal enough not to pick it up with bare hands. heehee)
Mr. Advisor scrubbed the glittering rock, to reveal more yellow shine!!!

5:30 PM. “Hello Vimal Bhai, guess wat, we got Gold!”

In minutes the word was around, Emperor and his Advisor found gold!

8:00 PM. Our Heroes met me in front of Krishna Bakery, shows me the Gold. Man, I was surprised, couldn't belive my eyes! It was a bluish piece of rock with multicolored strips, prolly metal ores, and there was this vien of gold, about 5mm thick, broader towards the edges. Bhai showed me another one, thinner, about 2mm thick.

So people, that's the story of a gold hunt. How the Emperor and his Advisor went on a trip, got pissed and found Gold.

There was one more question that came to the Emperor’s mind, "Am I gifted?" .

Do we have somebody here, who turns whatever he pees on to Gold? A Golden Pee?

Click here to view Palas Bhai's version of the story.

Ladies...you are gonna love Indian men for thinking this way!!! Really worth the read...one of the BEST e-mails I've received in a long time!!

It seems that an article was written to a well-founded magazine, by an English woman who requested a response from Indian men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for(and more)!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------

This letter was written in response to an article:


Dear Editor:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male readers.
I am a White female who is engaged to an Indian male, good-looking, educated
and loving.
I just don't understand a lot of Indian female's attitudes about our relationship.
My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Indian women
were slim to none.
As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too
argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Indian men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.

If Indian women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't
they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public.
I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we white women are so
appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.
But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly.
Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.
Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men
better.
If I'm wrong, Indian men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

The Response:

Dear Editor:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Indian man. I graduated from
one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Non-White men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women.
Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Indian girls in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Indian males date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Indian women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over
their white women.
I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Indian men date white women. Non-Whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Non-White women.
And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert
DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don't want the 'Disgusted White Girl' to be misinformed.
Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.
Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

Read your history! It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to cook and season your food.
It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to raise your children.
It was Non-White women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery.
It is the Non-White woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.
Indian women were born with two strikes against them: being Non-White and
being a woman.
And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the Indian women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen.

It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colours and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Indian women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Indian women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks.
If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin.
If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin?
Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understand my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed,

Indian Royalty.

Ah! Finally, I moved the techie posts to Tech's Diary.
A lot of effort for a procastinator, but did it today.

"When opportunity knocks, people complain about the noise."
- Quoted by Sritvatsabhargava Shastri, a rather interesting person I met over the weekend.

Kumar wanted to meet one of his old pals, Srivatsa, last weekend. This man was his colleague at NIPUNA, Hyderabad. Srivatsa lives in Saraswathi Nagar, near the ISKON Temple. Kumar has nothing but praise for this guy and that made me think I should meet this "great" personality. I had wanted to visit the ISKON Temple for quite a long time,but had never gotten the chance, so I thought I should grab this one. That would be "two birds at a single shot", to quote a mallu phrase. As per plans, Kumar picked me up around 4 PM, and we proceeded on his Pulsar to Kid's Shop at Indira Nagar to pick up some baby stuff for Srivatsa's kid. From there, an hours drive through the rain and traffic on the Hyderabad Road took us to Yeshwanthpur. With not much trouble we found the ISKON Temple in all its pride and glory. Srivatsa was there to receive us. The place was crowded being a weekend, so I had to postpone my visit to the temple. A mile ahead I could see the Golden gopura of the Hanuman devasthana and the big Venkateshwara devasthana beside it.

We spent some time at Srivatsa's place, where he showed us his wedding albums, some snaps from their days in Hyderabad and his firewall lab. I had a nice time listening to the stories from their "good old days". Hmm.., not to forget this, I saw this snap of Urmi and Jay, and Srivatsa was teasing him through out.

Saraswathi Nagar was a very nice place. With many temples around, the atmosphere was filled with floral fragrance, chimes and chants. I could feel an eternal joy, the kind of a feeling I get when I am in my village.

As always, the King wanted to speak over drinks, so somewhere around half past 7 we drove to the White Horse Restaubar. This is where I got to know more about Srivatsa.
We spoke for more than 3 hours. This guy who was a call center executive in Nipuna had risen to the position of Solaris Administrator in Wipro Technologies within an year, all credits to his hard work and dedication. I had a lot to learn from him.

Talking about learning, this is what he had to say :What does a man learn when he is dying? Ans: He learns to die. Man is always learning, consciously or unconsciously. He spoke on how the corporates see us, the human resources. He gave us a fair idea of where we stand in this IT era, and how to plan our strategy of moving up the corporate ladder.

OSPF(Open shortest path first) was what he adviced us to follow. Set small goals , achieve them, and then work towards your bigger goal. There is no time to waste, set goals achievable in a shorter time frame and work hard to cover these milestones.

Finally around 10:30PM we bid adieu to Srivatsa and took our road back home. I felt a lot better, I knew what I wanted to be. My mind was at peace...a break from the turbulence of confusion.

Milan and Spade Jac

This photo in Spade Jac's album made me lay back in my chair and I found myself walking down the memory lane.

I am not able to express all that's going through my mind. many colours, many feelings...a hundred thousand pulses traversing my brain.

Milan Mathew, my college-mate, classmate, and a good friend.
We were also room mates during the final-sem-project days in Trivandrum.

Othiri nala ormakal thanittu avan yaatra ayi.
A very respectable individual, a cucek-ian with his own style statement.
The gold capped rudraksh mala, the solid gold bangle, he was a great fan of Mohanlal.

He was an honest chap, and responsible too. I remember how the ABVP leadership made him the Party President for our college. He was dedicated, I never expected anyone to do that job with so much dedication and enthusiasm.

The day, we came to know that he was sick, I could see tears run down Sreeja's cheeks. He was a good friend to both of us, always offered a lot of moral support.

I had called him up when he was hospitalized. He was too tired from the radiotherapy. He never gave up hope, and was strong at heart. He was happy that he had cleared all the exams. This is what he told me, "Eda njanum Pillayum passayi. Njan ippol oru engineera" (Me and Pillay cleared our papers, I am an engineer now). He talked about beginning his job hunt.

Months later I called him, He was quite happy, and was getting better. The cancer that was eating into his lungs had subsided. He was feeling much stronger. There were a few more tests, and then he would be declared free. He was waiting for that day. We all felt happy for him. He talked to me about coming to Bangalore. "Aliya ninte bedinte adiyil eniku paay virikan ithiri sthalam" (Leave me some space under your bed, i'll sleep there).
When I talked to him about my life, there warm and consoling voice at the other end..."ellam sheriakum aliya" (Everythings gonna be alright dude)

A week later that shocking news came as an sms on my cell. I was frozen. Could not believe it. I called up Nimesh and Rishi to confirm the genuinity of the message.
Soumya and Dinup were with me. Everyone was silent.

I never went to his funeral, couldn't bear to see my friend's lifeless form. I didn't want to believe he was dead. Didn't want to see the mourning.

It was a lot of fun in class, and outside. I feel I am getting too emotional to type anything more. There is this strong feeling within me to ask our other friends to leave their comments on this post... that would speak more about this big buddy who left without a word.

Friend, we miss you. Rest in peace.

This is an email that was forwarded to me by a friend.
In Primary school, its the innocence of a kid, love - pure version.
When you get to high school, u start looking for girl friends
For sure, by the time you graduate, you would have slept with or would be looking forward to sleep with your girl friend(s).