Vim rants...

One sunday evening @ SBZ Blore.

As usual, the four of us sat for a round of Twenty-Eight after dinner.
Umach and Sasi vs Kannan n me. The opposition was in full form...u can c Unmach wearing a make-shift kunukku(earings for the loser)

The stars didn't seem to favour Unmach, as the game proceeded the number of kunnuks increased. Like the song bird awaiting the rains, Unmach sat there trying hard to win a game n remove atleast one of the umpteen kunnuks. While we were preparing to crown Macho (as a rule, we crown the loser after a number of kunnuks)there comes an SMS from Aswin :

"whose number is 09388338388. She called me and asked your fone# i didnt give it.
I told her that I will ask you to call her. "

Aswin is in Hyd, he calls us once in a while, but never smses. With national sms@ Rs.2 and A2A std calls @ Re.1, he prefers a call over sms. So, this sms did make me feel uneasy.
I called him up,
" Dey, wutz dis sms all abt? "
" Da, a gal had called, talked in typical trissur accent, asked for you. "
" And? "
" I told her, u are in b'lore but she wudnt listen, she says someone told her that you wer wid me. Orupadu paranju noki(tried to convince her), but she wudnt litsen. Then I told her I would ask you to call her. I didnt give your number. Neways try calling, aru anennu ariyallo (we cud kno who that is). "

My uneasiness doubled.

"Da Sasi, wat to do"
"Try calling da, wats in it?"
"Ennalum, ee rathri evidunnu vilikana, mobilil ninnu vilikenda" (But, its too late to go out n call, dont call from our mobile)
"OK, let me try, wats the number"
"093...."
"Haa, that's a prank, I have seen that number before"

Well, I won't spoil the fun of that by writing the whole script here. Haha! u need to call that number...its funny.

Ah! Now since this was a prank, I thought of fooling other friends as well (how could I resist that feeling, )

I knew Aswin would have forwarded this sms to many of our friends, so I had to choose intelligently. I picked Philin, Vargheese and Dinu. The responses were terrific!

We didn't get a response until 10PM. At 10, Vargheese calls, seeing his name flash on my fone, i couldn't control my laughter, so Sasi had to pick the call. Sasi puts the fone on loud speaker...

" Hello enthada?"
"Vimal chettai enthiye?"
"He is in the washroom, wassup?"
"Eda Sasi, did he talk about a call for me?"
"Ah! A gal had called, Vareesutti inda, enna chodiche, I guess she is from Trissur"
"Eda thats a big racket, my friend also gave me that number, he says thats of a pro"
"Poda, its nuffin of dat sort"
"Allada I 'm serious, He said dat gurl wud reply to watever u ask? Well, did u guys give her my number"
"Hey, dont be scared, Vimal has handled it well, she asked if you weren't around, He said you are not in Bangalore. She was very stuborn and said we are liers. He convinced her that he would get you to call back."
"Eda, dont give any details, I am sure they wanna trap us."
"Why dont you try to find out who that is, dont be scared da"
"Hey, dont be silly, I dont wanna get into trouble, it'll be a big disgrace if d police finds out"
*Everyone is Giggling, I rush out of the room unable to control my laughter *
"Ok, call from Ernakulam"
"Ok, tomorrow morning I'll call. If possible ask Vimal chettai to call me" *Click*

*All four of us are rolling on the floor laughing *

10 minutes later, Dinesh calls :

"Edo I called that number twice, I was shocked. That gurl's voice is amazing! hahaha! I took sometime to realize that was a prank"

@ 11 , An anxious ASN calls... Again Sasi picks the fone, on loud speaker.

"Eda wers Vimal"
"Sleeping" *Giggles*
"Da I had sent him an sms about a fone call, did he find out who that was"
"No, he was told us he wud call tomorrow"

We didn' want Aswin to sleep in peace either. Hehehe

Next day,

Philin : "Eda, ithentha sambhavam...I am going crazy, who the hell is she?"

Poor fella, I releaved the truth! veruthe adi vangenda ennu karuthi!

In the afternoon we called ASN, dats wen we came to know about the perfect prey!

Suj had called ASN thrice about this sms, the first time he called was to ask wut this sms was abt, ASN told him the same story, "aa trissur kari penne".

The second time Suj called, was to tell him that he was confused.
"Eda, who is this, she is not giving any clues, i asked if she is Reshma or Karthika, etc. I cant make out the sound, she disconnected telling me to call her wen I find out who she is"
"Da, dont worry you try again, u myt get some clue"

Suj called a third time, he was still confused, he was tensed and shivering.
"Hey, she disconnected again and the same dialogue. wtf, who is she"
Again Aswin's re-assuring tone, "Eda she myt be trying to fool you. Call her once more and shout at her"

I am sure Suj tried a forth time. As soon as Aswin disconnected, we got an sms from Suj...

"whose number is 09388338388. She called me and asked your fone# i didnt give it. I told her that I will ask you to call her. "

8th July, Bangalore

Kumaran Jagdeeshan : Male, 23 years, 5’11”
Palas Panja : Male, 31 years, 5’11”

Destination : Kolar Gold Fields, Kolar, Karnataka. 98 kms towards East of Bangalore

The Emperor was planning this trip for a week. Now, don't ask me why the name Emperor, I know its absurd, but Kumaran calls himself “The Emperor”, and me being a person who respects everyone’s individuality, I address him not as His Majesty, but as Mr. Emperor.
Last weekend, he rode his Pulsar from from Bangalore to Chennai and back(750+ kms), something that he claims to be adventurous. The side effects of this adventure included a sore throat, painful shoulders and blood red eyes (you might wanna call him Dracula). But that didn't stop him; he really wanted to get away from the hustle of the city.

I had no plans for the weekend and Mr. Emperor invited me to join him. 200 kms on his mobike wasn’t an attractive offer, but a trip is something I would never wanna turn down, I accepted it on one condition, we go by car, or me not going.

12:30 PM, Saturday.
Me calls up Palas Bhai, the Emperor’s Advisor(don’t askkk y, that's how the Emperor calls him, ).
“Palas bhai, wats plans for today? Hey, isn’t today the 8th? We got the Premier League and GSDC TownHall tonight ”
“Yaar, I asked the others, seems like no one in our team is going for the event”. Hmm, I know that's bad, but we have to accept facts.
“Ok, so wat do u think Bhai, we’ll go?”
“Yeah, I am free. But Vimal, how will we go?”
“Emperor might be coming, let me c if I could get one more bike.” Man, it’s a weekend, no chance, every damn guy with a bike would go out with his (girl) friend(s).
“Bhai, lemme try calling Yumperor, will call u back soon. I’ll also check with Mervin, he's gotta car.”
“Ok bhai.”

The IBM GSDC TownHall was to take place that evening, a mega event at Palace grounds, a great evening with a lot of fun and KK’s concert. Now, that was the sexy option. We could have some real fun, meet up with friends, listen to some good music, feast, dance till we were dead tired and of course not to count out the possibility of pairing up with nice chicks .

12:35 PM, Saturday. Emperor calls me up, asks “wat’s ya plan ?”.
Briefed him about my conversation with Palas. We tried calling Mervin but he was not picking up his cell. Since we couldn't find a car, I decided to quit.
Asked the Emperor to contact Palas and fix up something.

12: 45 PM. The plan was finalized, if we could get hold of Mervin, 4 of us going to Kolar, else Kumar and Palas to make the trip on the Pulsar.

3:30 PM. The Yumperor and his Advisor set off on the Gold Hunt.

Kolar Mines are the world's deepest gold mines. They are 2,400 meters below surface, and are also the oldest and largest in the country. The mines extend over 98 kms.
The mines are open on Saturdays, and I expected the Emperor to go into one of them and dig up gold ore.

On their way to KGF, Yump almost met with an accident.
Folks, we have heard of storm chasers, our heroes turned “Rain Chasers”! They chased rain, got wet and to add spice to the whole thing, they were at 100 kmph that they had to stop when they were in the rain. Palas was shouting, “Needles piercing, bhai! Stop, stop!”

NH – 4, the route is through Hoskote to Kolar. Either side of the road is a feast for the eyes, fields, water bodies and trees. Emperor couldn’t wait to click a snap of the blossoming trees, that the main motive behind this trip.

The NH at Kolar is a straight road, and you can clearly see vehicles more than 3 kms away. This is where the Emperor wanted to stop, and click some snaps. To his disappointment, before he could click the 7th snap, his cam went dead. Our heroes d didn't carry spare cells ; we missed some good snaps people.

Now, since they had nothing better to do, our heroes decided to drive towards KGF, 38 kms ahead. Now we have lost track of time, Palas and Kumar, u got to input these in the comments, I would appreciate that, it would help us. Yeah, really !



Our heroes roam around KGF, trying to find a mine that looked inviting. They wanted to go down one of them digging for gold. There were a zillion thoughts in the Emperor’s mind…."which mine would be the best one", "where could I find easy gold", "Me don't wanna get dirty…how to dig without getting dirty", "is the deepest mine the better one? Or does smaller means a less used one?"

These mines were closed in 2001, coz the government couldn't make enough profit and the cost of production was rising tremendously.

Hmmm, I guess you guys now know how challenging this Gold hunt is.
Before he could go down one of those shafts, Emperor and his Advisor decide to pee.
Our heroes, become naughty li’l boys for a while ;) wanna read ahead? [If you would prefer this censored, please proceed to the next paragraph]. Our li’l hero boys, they got into a pee- war. OMG!

To their surprise, the tiny rock that they were peeing on sparkled!
Emperor orders a halt, produces a polythene cover, lifts the rock and washes it in a stream of water (hmm, our kiddies are royal enough not to pick it up with bare hands. heehee)
Mr. Advisor scrubbed the glittering rock, to reveal more yellow shine!!!

5:30 PM. “Hello Vimal Bhai, guess wat, we got Gold!”

In minutes the word was around, Emperor and his Advisor found gold!

8:00 PM. Our Heroes met me in front of Krishna Bakery, shows me the Gold. Man, I was surprised, couldn't belive my eyes! It was a bluish piece of rock with multicolored strips, prolly metal ores, and there was this vien of gold, about 5mm thick, broader towards the edges. Bhai showed me another one, thinner, about 2mm thick.

So people, that's the story of a gold hunt. How the Emperor and his Advisor went on a trip, got pissed and found Gold.

There was one more question that came to the Emperor’s mind, "Am I gifted?" .

Do we have somebody here, who turns whatever he pees on to Gold? A Golden Pee?

Click here to view Palas Bhai's version of the story.